PTSD, an Explanation

First, the things I’m writing about are not necessarily happening now. I have more than ten years of work, hundreds upon hundreds of pieces of writing that I’m just beginning to share. And I’ll often keep the present tense as if it is now, because in a way, it is as I bring the work forward. I’d like the readers to be carried along in real time, as I experienced things. Not in the 20/20 hindsight of recovery and wisdom.

One of the pieces of feedback I got from a recent post on PTSD is that it seemed to the readers that I still have fear of the situations and people involved in those long-ago experiences. With a story of domestic abuse and life-threatening medical experiences, not everyone can relate to how PTSD manifests in the day-to-day. And there is potential for misunderstanding, especially if it is complex post-traumatic stress disorder. So I’ll share my explanation of how PTSD is not the same as being afraid.

One may understand the correlation that when a person who has been in war has experiences with sounds or actions, when they are no longer in the situation, their body has a PTSD response. For example, a booming fireworks show or the pop of a blown tire may trigger PTSD. But the person who is having that response is not afraid of fireworks or the tire. There is no danger.

For the situations I write about, it is similar. Sounds can trigger my PTSD. But I am not afraid of the sounds or the person or thing making the sounds. Nor do I live with this idea that these random things could literally be connected to the past experiences I had that jolted my nervous system in the first place. Over time, that initial fight/flight/freeze response has evolved.

Everyone is different with their PTSD experiences and I do not claim to have full knowledge of this condition or how it shows up for those who have it, nor how it can be managed for other people. I appreciate the notes of concern and the desire to better understand what I’m trying to convey with these stories.